I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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