I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize