rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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