Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Please don't give away my fajitas
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