Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
