so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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