So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
