I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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