i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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