So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
