"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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