rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
