FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
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My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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