I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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