im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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