people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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