just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help