When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner