I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
