Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Your tits are I can't wait for

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  (647): Your tits are I can't wait for http://tfl.nu/8px6
  Replies (6) Good night (1153) Bad night (346) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time

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  (250): i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time http://tfl.nu/g1as
  Replies (19) Good night (2496) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.

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  (636): just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am. http://tfl.nu/ubv2
  Replies (38) Good night (4571) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube

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  (954): a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube http://tfl.nu/f16y
  Replies (4) Good night (958) Bad night (2792) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.

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  (267): He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever. http://tfl.nu/526w
  Replies (48) Good night (28550) Bad night (865) Order T-Shirt
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  (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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  (213): I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on. http://tfl.nu/rma0
  Replies (21) Good night (6198) Bad night (1331) Order T-Shirt
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?

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  (765): So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night? http://tfl.nu/0nca
  Replies (16) Good night (4887) Bad night (1466) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream

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  (740): I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream http://tfl.nu/eta2
  Replies (28) Good night (2520) Bad night (6878) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.

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  (405): I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning. http://tfl.nu/v1az
  Replies (9) Good night (3441) Bad night (1315) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"

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  (949): You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this" http://tfl.nu/ckz0
  Replies (6) Good night (1125) Bad night (1768)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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  (905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.

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  (860): Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up. http://tfl.nu/ujg8
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.

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  (502): I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true. http://tfl.nu/qsda
  Replies (8) Good night (2262) Bad night (266) Order T-Shirt
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.

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  (507): Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale. http://tfl.nu/i85n
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (205) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.

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  (306): Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am. http://tfl.nu/zysn
  Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (110) Order T-Shirt

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