On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
