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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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• (951): View more from California

  I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to

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• (954): View more from Florida

  I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.

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  19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (909): View more from California

  my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.

  Fav 137 7360 5935

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?

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• (510): View more from California

  In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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• 

  17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right

  Fav 20 2801 882

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.

  Fav 3 467 703

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.

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