Texts From Last Night

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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.

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  (708): Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot. http://tfl.nu/16kw
  Replies (2) Good night (1293) Bad night (560)
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  (323): View more from California

  my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.

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  (323): my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation. http://tfl.nu/m27j
  Replies (9) Good night (898) Bad night (3839)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?

  (812): View more from Indiana

  You're dead to me.

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  (317): Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up? (812): You're dead to me. http://tfl.nu/331c
  Replies (48) Good night (9187) Bad night (1192)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (8121) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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  (413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/3v3s
  Replies (54) Good night (8976) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv

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  (440): I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv http://tfl.nu/sgj1
  Replies (11) Good night (1315) Bad night (2314)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.

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  (949): this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning. http://tfl.nu/8me0
  Replies (4) Good night (1852) Bad night (833)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.

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  (803): The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood. http://tfl.nu/3s7a
  Replies (6) Good night (2330) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.

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  (704): Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second. http://tfl.nu/m6sh
  Replies (5) Good night (1025) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die

  (1-616): View more from Michigan

  that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida

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  (616): dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die (1-616): that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida http://tfl.nu/3jsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1429) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.

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  (320): My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with. http://tfl.nu/8o04
  Replies (0) Good night (723) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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  (321): This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat http://tfl.nu/jdal
  Replies (0) Good night (809) Bad night (468)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.

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  (832): The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up. http://tfl.nu/pl1q
  Replies (3) Good night (1146) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.

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  (917): He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever. http://tfl.nu/deln
  Replies (0) Good night (315) Bad night (457)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt

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  (732): My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt http://tfl.nu/jktp
  Replies (2) Good night (180) Bad night (659)

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