i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
