If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
