I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
