You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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