Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
