if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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