Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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