So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
