areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
