Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
