if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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