Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
