I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
