Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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