My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My boob is missing a layer of skin
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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