she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
