Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
