I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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