just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
