Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Randomize
