Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
