Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
