Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
