well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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