Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
that is very illegal...i love you.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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