508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I want to make a zoo with you.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
