OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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