Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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