It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I think I just sharted jello shots
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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