When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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