8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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