Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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