You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
