Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
