I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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