Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
