dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
