Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
