One girl and one boy is just not enough.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
