this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
