my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
