I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
