Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
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I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
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I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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