So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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