Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
