it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
