I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
there is glitter all over my balls
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
