pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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